another year

i'm now a year older and haven't reached my goal yet. i can really only be mad at myself. thursday normality (well mine anyway as far as eating goes) will return. minimum food intake. no more junk food. i'm vegan yet i still find junk to stuff myself with. maybe i should go raw food vegan...who am i kidding i just need to get much more hard core. i haven't been able to purge but thursday i reclaim my bathroom. with plenty of privacy. thank you for your comment on my last post. i will read your blog once i get more energy.
my dumb ass skipped my meds for 3 days so now i have to get used to my seroquel once more. it's been knocking me on my ass.
my playlist at the moment that i listen to is
waltz moore - from firs to last
paper bag - fiona apple
courage - superchick
she said - rin oikawa
please inspire me my goddesses to return on your path of thinness!!!
it's all on me i know!!!
stay strong
muah

apologies from me are getting old huh?

well i haven't been on in a long time. truth be told i haven't really been true to ana and mia as of late. i'm fat once more up to like 78kg once more. i keep telling myself tomorrow i'll be strict and for some reason my self promised tomorrow doesn't seem to come. i haven't played catch up with you guys either. i see i have more followers. thank you but i don't deserve the love. i've been stuck in a rut and truth be told i've been to ashamed to even post. even if i know you are the last to judge me!! i've missed you guys so much.
oh psychologically i'm doing better i'm finally finished. with the exception of my monthly meeting with my therapist of course. i'm so glad no more people watching my eating habits. yaaay. i love my grandparents but thank goodness they are going home soon so i can purge once more without risk of discovery. i won't promise anything because i'm sucky at fulfilling them recently but i hope to update more soon and also catch up because god knows i'm behind.
i love you guys and unlike me
stay strong
muah