i opted to take dxm tonight
i am high as shit but i feel nauseous
good thing with this stuff is food is utterly disgusting, at least for me. man i don't know if it was a good idea but last time i did this stuff i stopped purging for a while and i can see myself slipping down that slope real quick again. i enjoy purging so much
oh and i'm working on the bracelet emily had suggested...well i was until i got to high and the knots got confusing. well i'm on to a good start.
good night lovelies (got that from P.D.<--yeah i stole it ooohh yeah i'm fucking to high right now) i'm about to reach the 2nd plateau i think and writing won't really be possible anymore
i love all you guys i do! and not just because i'm currently influenced by chemistry
you guys give me strength thank you!!!
stay strong
muah
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Binging is such bliss
Today it wasn't food thank god, it was shopping. I'm scared to calculate how much money i spent, but it's more than i can afford. Oh well I kept telling myself it's just less food money for me which isn't to bad.
Today was overall completely awesome I know fit into one size smaller. Tightly but I fit. Next week I'll really fit.
I bought a shirt that has A broccoli, chili pepper, and a carrot (which is wearing a gold chain and shades) on it and the words underneath: FRESH FRIENDS
When I'm wearing that shirt I'll only allow myself veggies, at least that was my thought when I bought it, which in turn made it ok for me to buy ha ha.
I bought several shirts actually a DVD from my favorite band (the GazettE), I'm so stoked watching that tonight. That DVD cost me 28 euros. I'm crazy but at least it wasn't 28 Euros of food.
@Zen: Changing rooms are the devil. They are evil and well lighted to highlight every single roll UGHHHHHH one shop didn't even have the mirror in the changing room, I had to go out of the dressing room to have a look. I hate that.
My protein shake I bought today is called Almased, it's German. I'm supposed to replace 2 meals a day with them. It's soy based. You take 2 spoons powder, 200ml water, and 2 Tbs. Oil (which is supposed to help you get all the vitamins and minerals) Here is a picture:
It tastes like pancake batter, I'm starting with it today. I'm not supposed to do it longer than 2 weeks....will I? I don't know
today all I had was
water- 0 cals
Chai Tea Latte with soy- 170 cals
Protein shake- 230 cals
I'm doing good...
Say NO to FOOD
Today was overall completely awesome I know fit into one size smaller. Tightly but I fit. Next week I'll really fit.
I bought a shirt that has A broccoli, chili pepper, and a carrot (which is wearing a gold chain and shades) on it and the words underneath: FRESH FRIENDS
When I'm wearing that shirt I'll only allow myself veggies, at least that was my thought when I bought it, which in turn made it ok for me to buy ha ha.
I bought several shirts actually a DVD from my favorite band (the GazettE), I'm so stoked watching that tonight. That DVD cost me 28 euros. I'm crazy but at least it wasn't 28 Euros of food.
@Zen: Changing rooms are the devil. They are evil and well lighted to highlight every single roll UGHHHHHH one shop didn't even have the mirror in the changing room, I had to go out of the dressing room to have a look. I hate that.
My protein shake I bought today is called Almased, it's German. I'm supposed to replace 2 meals a day with them. It's soy based. You take 2 spoons powder, 200ml water, and 2 Tbs. Oil (which is supposed to help you get all the vitamins and minerals) Here is a picture:
It tastes like pancake batter, I'm starting with it today. I'm not supposed to do it longer than 2 weeks....will I? I don't know
today all I had was
water- 0 cals
Chai Tea Latte with soy- 170 cals
Protein shake- 230 cals
I'm doing good...
Say NO to FOOD
Weigh In post binge
81.3kg) i guess all things considered that's not bad
ugh i loathe myself I still feel the food sitting in there
well today I will be positive mini-me is out of my hair and i'm going shopping and if i'm lucky i'll be down one pants size which will let me forgive myself
shopping...something i fear and love
i'm scared because i know if i'm not down a pants size i'll hate myself but spending money (which i don't have much of) is like eating for me, forbidden and fun...
anyway i will allow myself a chai-latte at starbucks today, and i'm going to buy those protein shakes today....
well check in later or tomorrow depending on today's events
MUAH
EDIT: just read some blogs, already feel better, thank you for the strength ladies!
ugh i loathe myself I still feel the food sitting in there
well today I will be positive mini-me is out of my hair and i'm going shopping and if i'm lucky i'll be down one pants size which will let me forgive myself
shopping...something i fear and love
i'm scared because i know if i'm not down a pants size i'll hate myself but spending money (which i don't have much of) is like eating for me, forbidden and fun...
anyway i will allow myself a chai-latte at starbucks today, and i'm going to buy those protein shakes today....
well check in later or tomorrow depending on today's events
MUAH
EDIT: just read some blogs, already feel better, thank you for the strength ladies!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
i wish i could just empty my house of food...
tomorrow i won't have mini-me ALL day. no making meals, i won't even be home! woohoo. but today was bad. i think this happened because of my consumption from last night
i binged
purged
that was planned i actually cooked food just to purge
well upon the first binge i didn't finish it all so
i binged again but this time didn't purge
no clue why but i feel sick and i want to purge but i know it's to late and it would just be painful
i will not eat tomorrow!!! i have no reason to, should i feel hungry i'll drink some soy milk but no solids.
my friend told me about this protein shake diet, 20lbs in 2 weeks. you can apparently eat a tiny amount of veggies and rice but if you go without it's much better results. i might just buy the stuff tomorrow on my free day. we'll see how it goes
i have set a new goal, 150 by may 15. hopefully i can keep it, that's 27lbs, so roughly 1/2lb a day.
i binged
purged
that was planned i actually cooked food just to purge
well upon the first binge i didn't finish it all so
i binged again but this time didn't purge
no clue why but i feel sick and i want to purge but i know it's to late and it would just be painful
i will not eat tomorrow!!! i have no reason to, should i feel hungry i'll drink some soy milk but no solids.
my friend told me about this protein shake diet, 20lbs in 2 weeks. you can apparently eat a tiny amount of veggies and rice but if you go without it's much better results. i might just buy the stuff tomorrow on my free day. we'll see how it goes
i have set a new goal, 150 by may 15. hopefully i can keep it, that's 27lbs, so roughly 1/2lb a day.
Monday, March 29, 2010
FAIL, FAIL oh and FAIL
just ate 18 pieces of candy with a total of 468 cals. i'm a failure i'm disgusting and i don't know why i did it. i flushed food down the toilet i was so proud. and all that resolve faltered because...i don't know i have no theories ughh...must stay strong tomorrow and wednesday...
My day
First off I want to thank this community. You are all fantastic, everyone I'm following and today I fell in love with Zen. I was just about to eat a big plate of Tofu and rice (fried, with okra and onions, seasoned with garlic, salt, curry and soy sauce, and let's not forget the egg whites). When I started reading her post from today and something switched.
It's actually pretty good but after I finish writing I'm going to flush that whole plate down the toilet, that way I can justify in saying it went to the same place it would've anyway but didn't go through all the same channels. Yeah I just came up with that (I think, if I didn't please don't sue me) but I'm going to try running with it.
So today after mini-me's nap my mom calls because she wants me to come with her to pick up her glasses and that way I can get the groceries I need. Which was awesome I didn't have to pay for them. But my mood blackened for some reason (I don't know lack of sleep, headache, mini-me...a combination?) I was comparing myself to every woman and girl that passed me. I saw this one lady and she was so small that although she was wearing somewhat baggy pants you could still see the space in between her thighs...
Which later on when we went to the store was absolutely no help at all!! As we passed the easter candy I started noticing my thighs rubbing together. I was disgusted with myself but still managed to buy 2.5 kg package of tofu (the store is similar to sam's club in the states everything in huge quantities), 2L of egg white and a pack of smoked tofu (which tastes divine), which upon coming home almost made me want to binge, but for some reason I stayed strong, maybe because I was already cooking so I knew food was on the way.
Well I'm off to flush this crap...
Stay strong everyone and oh yeah I have 5 followers which makes me happy.
I think everyone starts their blog not expecting people to read but once they do, it makes it good to know somebody actually cares enough to read about my shitty life.
THANK YOU
you guys don't know how much you lessen my loneliness!
EDIT: I succeeded in flushing down mini-me's food down the toilet. Yay go me, now I have company motivation not to eat, she knows what I'm doing and accepts it she promised to stop me at the lowest
It's actually pretty good but after I finish writing I'm going to flush that whole plate down the toilet, that way I can justify in saying it went to the same place it would've anyway but didn't go through all the same channels. Yeah I just came up with that (I think, if I didn't please don't sue me) but I'm going to try running with it.
So today after mini-me's nap my mom calls because she wants me to come with her to pick up her glasses and that way I can get the groceries I need. Which was awesome I didn't have to pay for them. But my mood blackened for some reason (I don't know lack of sleep, headache, mini-me...a combination?) I was comparing myself to every woman and girl that passed me. I saw this one lady and she was so small that although she was wearing somewhat baggy pants you could still see the space in between her thighs...
Which later on when we went to the store was absolutely no help at all!! As we passed the easter candy I started noticing my thighs rubbing together. I was disgusted with myself but still managed to buy 2.5 kg package of tofu (the store is similar to sam's club in the states everything in huge quantities), 2L of egg white and a pack of smoked tofu (which tastes divine), which upon coming home almost made me want to binge, but for some reason I stayed strong, maybe because I was already cooking so I knew food was on the way.
Well I'm off to flush this crap...
Stay strong everyone and oh yeah I have 5 followers which makes me happy.
I think everyone starts their blog not expecting people to read but once they do, it makes it good to know somebody actually cares enough to read about my shitty life.
THANK YOU
you guys don't know how much you lessen my loneliness!
EDIT: I succeeded in flushing down mini-me's food down the toilet. Yay go me, now I have company motivation not to eat, she knows what I'm doing and accepts it she promised to stop me at the lowest
I'm sick I know....
ok so this whole post will be an edit since I obviously somehow posted it before even starting to type...
anyway so to start of with my weigh-in I weighed 177.7lbs (80.6kg) this morning. I now loathe myself for Starbucks, but if I turned it down yesterday, I know the Parental Units would have said something...
Today I will drink as much as possible and eat as little as possible but I still have to cook dinner...ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
so I've been spending a lot of time on what I'm going to do while I get my life in order, whenever that starts for sure we'll see.
I have a list with all the things I want to accomplish but you know what the first thought in that whole process was knowing that mini-me wouldn't be staying with me?
I can empty my kitchen and fridge of all solid foods and condiments, only have soy milk and other liquids in my fridge. No more making dinners, no more need to finish mini-me's food, no more need to eat food, complete restriction. And of course should the binge need occur my apartment is my own, I can just let Mia take control, no need to wait until mini-me is in bed, or otherwise occupied so she can't interrupt (sick? I know. bad parenting? definitely). I know I've been avoiding her the past few months.
This is basically why:
1. My teeth started hurting
2. I started getting really bad chest pains throughout the day
3. Although I haven't went yet I had been planning to go to the dentist and I was paranoid about them finding evidence on my teeth.
and not in that order more like 3.1.2 sick right the chest pain was the least of my concerns. I know I should keep her out but she's comforting you know...
Anyway these are my goals for my time of healing, broken up into different aspects:
Therapy:
~Find out:
-What is wrong with me? (Besides the obvious)
-Why am I like this?
-Why can't I deal with people?
Learn to cope
Freetime:
~Learn the violin (I actually ordered one and a book online last week)
~Explore the cities that I live around
~Make friends (by that I mean people who care)
~Find enjoyment in living "normal"
~Lean Japanese (which I'm already doing but I want to stick to it)
~Do arts & crafts (totally elementary I know, but I do want to make the bracelet Emily was talking about in her last post)
Home:
~Clean the house top to bottom including any cabinets, closets, dressers, drawers, etc.
~Throw SHIT away (I hoard everything because just MAYBE I might need it again, but there's no way I need size 22 pants anymore except for one pair to remember where I started)
~Organize especially all my paperwork
Health:
~Eat more veggies (I know simple concept but had to follow)
~Attempt at being Vegan (not so much for animal rights but all the foods that automatically get cut out of my diet)
~Start going running, I want to start slowly but I want to start and force myself to find enjoyment in it
~Get a full body check up and go to my gyno...I hate doctors I do I don't trust them I'm paranoid they'll diagnose something just so they can give me meds so the pharmaceutical companies can make some money off me (yeah call me crazy)
~Reach a healthy BMI and not be overweight...I could write reach my goal weight but I don't want to get to goal oriented here...BABY STEPS!!!
yeah that's it but it's a lot and I know it may seem weird but I get like that when I start getting into a project (this time it's myself) I write down all the things I want to accomplish...in the beginning I'm enthusiastic, it's my impatience that let's me fail.
I realized I've been linking people and stuff and I'm sorry if that's not ok since I didn't ask permission, so if it bothers you and you'd rather not be linked just let me know, and know I am sorry!!!
anyway so to start of with my weigh-in I weighed 177.7lbs (80.6kg) this morning. I now loathe myself for Starbucks, but if I turned it down yesterday, I know the Parental Units would have said something...
Today I will drink as much as possible and eat as little as possible but I still have to cook dinner...ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
so I've been spending a lot of time on what I'm going to do while I get my life in order, whenever that starts for sure we'll see.
I have a list with all the things I want to accomplish but you know what the first thought in that whole process was knowing that mini-me wouldn't be staying with me?
I can empty my kitchen and fridge of all solid foods and condiments, only have soy milk and other liquids in my fridge. No more making dinners, no more need to finish mini-me's food, no more need to eat food, complete restriction. And of course should the binge need occur my apartment is my own, I can just let Mia take control, no need to wait until mini-me is in bed, or otherwise occupied so she can't interrupt (sick? I know. bad parenting? definitely). I know I've been avoiding her the past few months.
This is basically why:
1. My teeth started hurting
2. I started getting really bad chest pains throughout the day
3. Although I haven't went yet I had been planning to go to the dentist and I was paranoid about them finding evidence on my teeth.
and not in that order more like 3.1.2 sick right the chest pain was the least of my concerns. I know I should keep her out but she's comforting you know...
Anyway these are my goals for my time of healing, broken up into different aspects:
Therapy:
~Find out:
-What is wrong with me? (Besides the obvious)
-Why am I like this?
-Why can't I deal with people?
Learn to cope
Freetime:
~Learn the violin (I actually ordered one and a book online last week)
~Explore the cities that I live around
~Make friends (by that I mean people who care)
~Find enjoyment in living "normal"
~Lean Japanese (which I'm already doing but I want to stick to it)
~Do arts & crafts (totally elementary I know, but I do want to make the bracelet Emily was talking about in her last post)
Home:
~Clean the house top to bottom including any cabinets, closets, dressers, drawers, etc.
~Throw SHIT away (I hoard everything because just MAYBE I might need it again, but there's no way I need size 22 pants anymore except for one pair to remember where I started)
~Organize especially all my paperwork
Health:
~Eat more veggies (I know simple concept but had to follow)
~Attempt at being Vegan (not so much for animal rights but all the foods that automatically get cut out of my diet)
~Start going running, I want to start slowly but I want to start and force myself to find enjoyment in it
~Get a full body check up and go to my gyno...I hate doctors I do I don't trust them I'm paranoid they'll diagnose something just so they can give me meds so the pharmaceutical companies can make some money off me (yeah call me crazy)
~Reach a healthy BMI and not be overweight...I could write reach my goal weight but I don't want to get to goal oriented here...BABY STEPS!!!
yeah that's it but it's a lot and I know it may seem weird but I get like that when I start getting into a project (this time it's myself) I write down all the things I want to accomplish...in the beginning I'm enthusiastic, it's my impatience that let's me fail.
I realized I've been linking people and stuff and I'm sorry if that's not ok since I didn't ask permission, so if it bothers you and you'd rather not be linked just let me know, and know I am sorry!!!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
The Aftermath....
First of THANK YOU Lola and Emily (yeah avoiding subjects and convos I am good at that too) for your encouraging words, they truly helped. I feel so much more at home on this blog than in real life. People actually understand me and don't judge for the points that I loathe myself for. THANK YOU everyone who's commented and is following and reading.
So the moment you've all been waiting for:
all my anxiety was for absolutely nothing. it went perfect and better than expected. since this conversation was mostly me and fahja I was so scared but he was amazing. i have a new found respect for him (which i lost a long time ago and yesterday i still couldn't really stand to be around him). He told me that I was not a failure, that I have had achievements (listed them, weight loss one of them[for me not enough]), and that he is proud of me for realizing my problems and trying to deal with them.
They are willing to take her for longer periods once we figure out how exactly to go about it, like if I'll sign guardianship over so they can put her in day care and stuff. My mother is taking her Wednesday all day, they'll take her Easter and then for sure weekend after next because I have a class reunion for trade school which I'm dreading because it's going to be a lot of drinking and that's calories and in order for me not to have a vomiting episode, I'll have to eat something really greasy. Ughhh...if anybody else has to eat before they drink any low cal tips? I know my weight will go up so I'm trying to loose as much as possible before then.
I did really well today even though it was treats, treats, treats.
We went to Starbucks to have "the Talk"
I had a Chai Tea Latte with soy milk, and half a piece of marble cake I shared with mini-me. I had to keep up appearances my mom is somewhat suspicious she always tells me "Just take it slow, don't overdo it." But I told them I'm considering becoming Vegan, so I'm leaving animal products out of my diet as much as possible. Yeah I know, skip the whole vegetarian part but I'm already pretty much doing that already since I eat Tofu everyday instead of adding chicken or something. I've become a Tofu freak. I love that stuff plain and cold straight outta the fridge. It's crazy I guess. Also it fills me up so much....mhmmmm. Hey maybe I'll make me a Tofu-something before I go out, but it's not really greasy. Maybe I'll just risk being the drunk fool. Ha ha.
Anyway my day has been AWESOME!!!! I even got a Alice in Wonderland shirt with His Hotness Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter on it. Paid for by my parentals.
I won't beat myself up about the cake because I deserve it.
I know now the hard part starts once they take her. I'm going to have to face myself. Give me strength, whatever Powers may be.
Calorie Intake:
Tea-170
1/2 pc. marble cake- 175
Total: 345 cals
I feel so good!!! I'm going to maybe drink some tea but 2 calories a cup will be fine.
I'd rather die from lung cancer, than be fat
So the moment you've all been waiting for:
all my anxiety was for absolutely nothing. it went perfect and better than expected. since this conversation was mostly me and fahja I was so scared but he was amazing. i have a new found respect for him (which i lost a long time ago and yesterday i still couldn't really stand to be around him). He told me that I was not a failure, that I have had achievements (listed them, weight loss one of them[for me not enough]), and that he is proud of me for realizing my problems and trying to deal with them.
They are willing to take her for longer periods once we figure out how exactly to go about it, like if I'll sign guardianship over so they can put her in day care and stuff. My mother is taking her Wednesday all day, they'll take her Easter and then for sure weekend after next because I have a class reunion for trade school which I'm dreading because it's going to be a lot of drinking and that's calories and in order for me not to have a vomiting episode, I'll have to eat something really greasy. Ughhh...if anybody else has to eat before they drink any low cal tips? I know my weight will go up so I'm trying to loose as much as possible before then.
I did really well today even though it was treats, treats, treats.
We went to Starbucks to have "the Talk"
I had a Chai Tea Latte with soy milk, and half a piece of marble cake I shared with mini-me. I had to keep up appearances my mom is somewhat suspicious she always tells me "Just take it slow, don't overdo it." But I told them I'm considering becoming Vegan, so I'm leaving animal products out of my diet as much as possible. Yeah I know, skip the whole vegetarian part but I'm already pretty much doing that already since I eat Tofu everyday instead of adding chicken or something. I've become a Tofu freak. I love that stuff plain and cold straight outta the fridge. It's crazy I guess. Also it fills me up so much....mhmmmm. Hey maybe I'll make me a Tofu-something before I go out, but it's not really greasy. Maybe I'll just risk being the drunk fool. Ha ha.
Anyway my day has been AWESOME!!!! I even got a Alice in Wonderland shirt with His Hotness Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter on it. Paid for by my parentals.
I won't beat myself up about the cake because I deserve it.
I know now the hard part starts once they take her. I'm going to have to face myself. Give me strength, whatever Powers may be.
Calorie Intake:
Tea-170
1/2 pc. marble cake- 175
Total: 345 cals
I feel so good!!! I'm going to maybe drink some tea but 2 calories a cup will be fine.
I'd rather die from lung cancer, than be fat
Once again not weight related...
Wow i'm really turning this into my private blog. at first i was super careful not to divulge to much but i don't know, guess i've gotten comfortable...
well today is the big talk with both parentals on my personal issues. it's going to be extremely emotional, i know i will be crying and so will my mom. my fahja will probably throw all my past mistakes in my face.
am i the only one who rehearses what she will say? i'm not even going to lie, well except the pot smoking they know about the past but i'll let them know i'm very tempted. it's close enough. anyway back to the rehearsing, when it's something so extremely deep and i have to open up a side of me that i loathe i go over it in my mind over and over.
i am terrified of this afternoon. explaining my deepest feelings to two people who cannot understand and one of them i have lost any respect for. damn fuck this afternoon. but i know it's part of the process. but if they can help me with mini-me then she wouldn't have to be out of the family. plus she loves her grandpa so much it might be good for her to have a man around her.
hmmm...maybe i can offer to take their pooch for them while they have her. a dog could help get my ass out of the house to exercise...
we shall see. i'll probably blog tonight, well if i have the energy.
apparently i look good but sick.
a friend came to visit and she was like OMG you look so good you've gotten so small look at your waist bla bla (i still feel that i'm way to fat but maybe she sees the difference from the beginning of my journey?). and later after she left and we were on the phone she was like, your skin is so pale it doesn't look good anymore (i'm half black so i do naturally have a bit of color), and the bags under your eyes are HUGE and dark.
well if it comes from the extreme restriction at least right now i can push it off on depression, stress, and insomnia...
well today is the big talk with both parentals on my personal issues. it's going to be extremely emotional, i know i will be crying and so will my mom. my fahja will probably throw all my past mistakes in my face.
am i the only one who rehearses what she will say? i'm not even going to lie, well except the pot smoking they know about the past but i'll let them know i'm very tempted. it's close enough. anyway back to the rehearsing, when it's something so extremely deep and i have to open up a side of me that i loathe i go over it in my mind over and over.
i am terrified of this afternoon. explaining my deepest feelings to two people who cannot understand and one of them i have lost any respect for. damn fuck this afternoon. but i know it's part of the process. but if they can help me with mini-me then she wouldn't have to be out of the family. plus she loves her grandpa so much it might be good for her to have a man around her.
hmmm...maybe i can offer to take their pooch for them while they have her. a dog could help get my ass out of the house to exercise...
we shall see. i'll probably blog tonight, well if i have the energy.
apparently i look good but sick.
a friend came to visit and she was like OMG you look so good you've gotten so small look at your waist bla bla (i still feel that i'm way to fat but maybe she sees the difference from the beginning of my journey?). and later after she left and we were on the phone she was like, your skin is so pale it doesn't look good anymore (i'm half black so i do naturally have a bit of color), and the bags under your eyes are HUGE and dark.
well if it comes from the extreme restriction at least right now i can push it off on depression, stress, and insomnia...
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Weigh In
Well I weighed myself twice today, once at around 6:30am and I weighed 171.08lbs (77.6kg) and I stepped on and off multiple times yeah one time it was 171.3lbs (77.7kg), then I weighed myself just now and I didn't eat or drink in between and my weight was 170.4lbs(77.3kg). I'm just going with 171.08lbs (77.6kg).
That makes me happy.
Yesterday I did eat tofu and noodles. I did good and threw mini-me's food away after she was in bed even though I did a few pieces of her tofu, but it's tofu I won't feel guilty. Before I went to bed I drank a glass of water with the juice of 1 lemon. I know the tip in the other post says two lemons but that's a lotta damn lemon juice, so I just went with one.
Last night my street pharmacist supplied me once more with the most wonderful plant and I'm getting a bit more positive. As far as my almost nervous break down and needing me time, I'm supposed to talk to the parentals on sunday. My mom spazzed the fuck out about my idea and is all of a sudden saying if it's that serious she'll help and take her for an extended time. That's so funny when I'm about to loose my fucking mind she can help but when I needed it before it was a struggle to convince the parentals. Grandkids are great, the best...until they through a tantrum. In january I was invited to a Bachelorette party and my fahja basically had my mom call me while I was out to tell me he'll never take her overnight again. (I know that was a long tangent...)
Anyway we'll see how it goes, I might go into that whole issue after I figure out what the hell is going on...
That makes me happy.
Yesterday I did eat tofu and noodles. I did good and threw mini-me's food away after she was in bed even though I did a few pieces of her tofu, but it's tofu I won't feel guilty. Before I went to bed I drank a glass of water with the juice of 1 lemon. I know the tip in the other post says two lemons but that's a lotta damn lemon juice, so I just went with one.
Last night my street pharmacist supplied me once more with the most wonderful plant and I'm getting a bit more positive. As far as my almost nervous break down and needing me time, I'm supposed to talk to the parentals on sunday. My mom spazzed the fuck out about my idea and is all of a sudden saying if it's that serious she'll help and take her for an extended time. That's so funny when I'm about to loose my fucking mind she can help but when I needed it before it was a struggle to convince the parentals. Grandkids are great, the best...until they through a tantrum. In january I was invited to a Bachelorette party and my fahja basically had my mom call me while I was out to tell me he'll never take her overnight again. (I know that was a long tangent...)
Anyway we'll see how it goes, I might go into that whole issue after I figure out what the hell is going on...
Friday, March 26, 2010
back again
EDIT: this is what i meant to say before the rest, I changed my name from Chick (so unpersonal) to Dylphe...I just like the sound of that name it holds no spectacular meaning...so now to the post:
i will step on the scale in a minute i've been avoiding posting my weight, which is not as low as I want it just out of plain frustration with myself.
i can't keep a liquid fast going for shit, mini-me's dinner is just such a temptation. i just need to throw everything away that's not consumed by her.
about my meltdown yesterday...it's been a long time coming. if i do decide to do this, which i think is a good choice potential (but first i need to get info to make sure), i'll probably go into therapy, i need it but i'm just afraid that somehow we'll touch on my eating and yeah...big fear but i have other issues i must confront so regardless of the way it goes, i should probably get therapy.
ok i'm now going to weigh myself
b
r
b
82.5 kg, i'll take care of switching to pounds later but i gained from my goal again oh yaay (feel the sarcasm burn)
anyway i haven't slept in 24 hours so i might as well make my tea and mini-mes breakfast since she'll probably be up soon.
maybe i can nap during her nap...i doubt it though i'll probably have that retarded sleep-deprived high where i can't sleep
i will step on the scale in a minute i've been avoiding posting my weight, which is not as low as I want it just out of plain frustration with myself.
i can't keep a liquid fast going for shit, mini-me's dinner is just such a temptation. i just need to throw everything away that's not consumed by her.
about my meltdown yesterday...it's been a long time coming. if i do decide to do this, which i think is a good choice potential (but first i need to get info to make sure), i'll probably go into therapy, i need it but i'm just afraid that somehow we'll touch on my eating and yeah...big fear but i have other issues i must confront so regardless of the way it goes, i should probably get therapy.
ok i'm now going to weigh myself
b
r
b
82.5 kg, i'll take care of switching to pounds later but i gained from my goal again oh yaay (feel the sarcasm burn)
anyway i haven't slept in 24 hours so i might as well make my tea and mini-mes breakfast since she'll probably be up soon.
maybe i can nap during her nap...i doubt it though i'll probably have that retarded sleep-deprived high where i can't sleep
Thursday, March 25, 2010
not weight related
i just need to get something off my chest.
i think i need to give mini-me to foster care (it's possible here) for like a year. i need to get my shit together. my life needs order, i can't provide her with the right environment right now. does that make me a bad mother because i really do love her, it's just to much. i just need a year. i don't want to party, i just want to get myself together at least find the right direction and start heading in it. i want her to have a carefree childhood. how can i do that on welfare? i can't. i need to get my shit together, i thought it would be easier than this i thought i could but i can't...
i'm close to a break down and i don't want mini me going through that with me.
how can i be a good mother when i can't even take care of myself...?
if these thoughts continue i will take care of all necessary things. i hate myself so much for thinking it but at the same time does my child not deserve happiness, a happiness i know i can't provide for her...
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
i think i need to give mini-me to foster care (it's possible here) for like a year. i need to get my shit together. my life needs order, i can't provide her with the right environment right now. does that make me a bad mother because i really do love her, it's just to much. i just need a year. i don't want to party, i just want to get myself together at least find the right direction and start heading in it. i want her to have a carefree childhood. how can i do that on welfare? i can't. i need to get my shit together, i thought it would be easier than this i thought i could but i can't...
i'm close to a break down and i don't want mini me going through that with me.
how can i be a good mother when i can't even take care of myself...?
if these thoughts continue i will take care of all necessary things. i hate myself so much for thinking it but at the same time does my child not deserve happiness, a happiness i know i can't provide for her...
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Emptiness
feels great i did slip an have a bite of mini me's chicken.
however other than that
tea
tea
tea
one cup soy milk
today i went grocery shopping and the only thing i got myself was some cigarettes everything else as far as food was mini me's it felt so good walking through the store feeling hungry and so turned off by the food...oh except the lemons because i want to start drinking lemon juice before i go to bed....
i don't know if it's b/c i'm high or because of lack of food but i've been feeling slightly fuzzy in my head
i like it!
however other than that
tea
tea
tea
one cup soy milk
today i went grocery shopping and the only thing i got myself was some cigarettes everything else as far as food was mini me's it felt so good walking through the store feeling hungry and so turned off by the food...oh except the lemons because i want to start drinking lemon juice before i go to bed....
i don't know if it's b/c i'm high or because of lack of food but i've been feeling slightly fuzzy in my head
i like it!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Let's get reaquainted
Hello Hunger,
let's get to know each other again.
I haven't really been letting you get a good cry in
Before you even make yourself noticed I've already stilled your cries
please cry for me
have a tantrum in my belly
~~~~~~~
anyway the past two days I've been eating and I've realized food is not all it's cracked up to be. well let me go back to the day when i wanted to fast all day, i did good until i had a little piece of cut up chicken. but i restrained myself
then the past two days i've been eating so much junk food and other garbage. i've been drinking my soy milk though but just plain soy milk. anyway so what have i been suffering the past two days?
stomach problems. I'm in so much pain and this is what food does to me. so from now on fuck food. i will eat only what i really need, like if it's a busy day i'll eat something so i won't get dizzy in public but that's it. or i'll eat for appearance sake. i'm done it's fucking me up internally in a bad way. i feel constipated but i'm not. i do not want to have to take laxatives they scare me. maybe i'll do a saltwater flush
i'm not going to be weighing myself i hope today. i think it would be crushing me. i'm such a fat ass lard ass. ughhhhh
anyway no food, no food, no food
discipline, discipline, discipline
let's get to know each other again.
I haven't really been letting you get a good cry in
Before you even make yourself noticed I've already stilled your cries
please cry for me
have a tantrum in my belly
~~~~~~~
anyway the past two days I've been eating and I've realized food is not all it's cracked up to be. well let me go back to the day when i wanted to fast all day, i did good until i had a little piece of cut up chicken. but i restrained myself
then the past two days i've been eating so much junk food and other garbage. i've been drinking my soy milk though but just plain soy milk. anyway so what have i been suffering the past two days?
stomach problems. I'm in so much pain and this is what food does to me. so from now on fuck food. i will eat only what i really need, like if it's a busy day i'll eat something so i won't get dizzy in public but that's it. or i'll eat for appearance sake. i'm done it's fucking me up internally in a bad way. i feel constipated but i'm not. i do not want to have to take laxatives they scare me. maybe i'll do a saltwater flush
i'm not going to be weighing myself i hope today. i think it would be crushing me. i'm such a fat ass lard ass. ughhhhh
anyway no food, no food, no food
discipline, discipline, discipline
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
WEIGH IN OMFG
I just weighed myself 168.7lbs (76.5kg) and a BMI of 27.4
I am really excited right now BUT that's a huge ass difference, so I'm not to sure how much I can trust it but it does make me happy, I won't change my ticker on the top or my weight on the side until tomorrow to make sure.
So far I've had
1 cup of ginger tea
2.5 cups of fruity tea
1 cup (about 200ml not to sure) of SB Milk
Which is more than I usually drink anyway so maybe it's water weight coming off. I don't care even if I do prefer it was fat. I found these exercises online I might try them out today because I need to do something
If I can really stick to not eating today and that weight just now is true then I'll probably be able to stick to not eating for a while which makes me happy.
I am really excited right now BUT that's a huge ass difference, so I'm not to sure how much I can trust it but it does make me happy, I won't change my ticker on the top or my weight on the side until tomorrow to make sure.
So far I've had
1 cup of ginger tea
2.5 cups of fruity tea
1 cup (about 200ml not to sure) of SB Milk
Which is more than I usually drink anyway so maybe it's water weight coming off. I don't care even if I do prefer it was fat. I found these exercises online I might try them out today because I need to do something
If I can really stick to not eating today and that weight just now is true then I'll probably be able to stick to not eating for a while which makes me happy.
My Obsession
So my obsession are collar bones. I love collar bones...I really do! I want mine super prominent with a slight visibility of ribs right underneath. I also want my shoulder bones visible. I've always had a collar bone obsession ever since I was a kid. My grandmother and mother had kinda prominent ones and I just remember as a little kid laying on their chest and feeling comfortable and comforted by the heartbeat right underneath.I love the deep hole my grandmother had and when I'd lay on her chest while laying down her necklace would lay in that hole, I found it fascinating. So now I strive for SUPER visible collar bones. When I get access to a cam I'll post mine and where they are so far. Which is still not enough!!!
So here's some photos of ones I like.
And this is just a super hot guy with awesome collar bones
So here's some photos of ones I like.
And this is just a super hot guy with awesome collar bones
WTF...why
Some Reverse Thinspo
i mean i do support people's striving for happiness and i know it's not hurting anyone at the moment but herself but why?
I haven't weighed myself yet and I probably won't today since I had rice yesterday and I'm actually scared to get on the scale...I'd like to trick myself into thinking I did really reach my goal. I'm thinking about just doing liquids today and no solids. However I'm not really sure since I might have a friend coming today and we'll see.
i mean i do support people's striving for happiness and i know it's not hurting anyone at the moment but herself but why?
I haven't weighed myself yet and I probably won't today since I had rice yesterday and I'm actually scared to get on the scale...I'd like to trick myself into thinking I did really reach my goal. I'm thinking about just doing liquids today and no solids. However I'm not really sure since I might have a friend coming today and we'll see.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
It'll be a long one....
so the title says all. This could possibly be a very long blog I got so many things to get off my head I even wrote a short bullet list (yeah so sad I know) so I can just get everything off my chest and stuff. Some of it might be pretty random
Stromae - Alors on Danse is on MTV right now and it'll give me the boost I need because it's just a feel good song for me.
So...
I've been spending my day mostly reading blogs. I don't get much done because once I read all the updates for the once I'm following and I go look at a new blog I tend to read the whole blog and not just the most recent posts. So it's pretty time consuming but I like it because it keeps me from eating and it's just so inspiring to me. Just the strength of everybody to get back up and keep going even if they fall off. I tried following some of the people today and the stupid google was being a butt and kept telling me to try again later. I'll do it later, I've bookmarked them.
One of the people was Pokerface (hope you don't mind that I linked you in) but he had a quiz he mentioned in one of his posts that tells you how much you weigh. It told me 135lbs. Wow that's a long way to go but I don't think it'll be enough...I don't know I can tell I won't just be satisfied at that weight.
Another thing on blogs I really want to comment more, I do it's just that sometimes I don't know exactly how to put my words in a nice compact little comment and it would end up more like a blog post. I'm working on it promise. Also I had gotten 2 comments (woohoo they made me happy in my pants lol) and I didn't even realize until today because I thought I'd get like a notice or something but I guess not....oops, but I wrote back now!!
My food intake today (in that order)
1 cup of Ginger Tee 5 cals (don't know but I'll give 5 cals can't be more than that Darjeeling has 1 but if you know...)
1/4 L Soy/Banana Milk 197.5 cals
1.5 Plates of Rice with Tofu and Veggies 400 cals (guesstimate since I'm not sure)
1 cup of Ginger Tee 5 cals
Total 607.5 so far which is fine if I still drink that SB Milk but I won't force myself. I'll try to drink more water today, because what you see there is all I've had no extra drinks...I know really bad. Which reminds me Heather[Hunger] you can always try to drink more tea because it makes me pee a lot so I usually don't feel like I'm gaining from it.
I might have more SB Milk because I made 1/2L so there's still half in the fridge. But I'm worried I didn't calculate enough for dinner. I'm sure I'm not the only one who worries when they have to guesstimate the calorie amount I might actually over guess but I always think I'm just not calculating enough calories.
When I opened the fridge earlier today to get the Tofu out my fridge was pretty empty with the exception of my soy milk, Tofu and Mini Me's food. I love it. I'm not even tempted by her food. I call it her food because I don't eat it but obviously she still does so most of the food I buy is actually for her. But yeah I loved looking at my empty fridge it was beautiful especially since I know I don't eat out of the house to much since that's just way to freaking expensive.
I even have chocolate for her here (and for me) but I'm not tempted I don't want any of it. I just picture all the disgusting ass additives in junk food that are like a drug making me want to eat and I can not want it. I know it sounds funny coming from someone who loves to smoke but hey at least smoking green doesn't make fat. (unless you succumb to the munchies but that's not really one of my problems).
Well basically it's great that I can avoid junk food but I don't feel like I have enough discipline in my eating. I almost feel like I need to set some drastic guidelines for myself and things especially concerning my calorie intake. I'm just way to la di da with it. Also I really need to start working out but everytime I start I mentally get this thing saying guess what you can eat now because you worked out. I know so retarded but yeah...
*
*
*
TOPIC SWIIIIIITCH
Lately they've been bringing a lot about plus size models on tv and how the skinny craze is having an end in the fashion world, (especially the whole Beth Ditto being Karl Lagerfelds muse which they've been killing that piece of news since it came out). Sigh...well I do think it's great that the plus sizes are getting representation and what not and I love the confidence that these women have and if truth be told I am truly jealous of it because if I had it I wouldn't be fighting so hard but I've just come to the point where I look at it and I just don't find it attractive. I've gotten my mind so set on weight loss that I'm even critical with people on the street. For example I see people smaller than me (but not skinny) and I'm like oooh how I wish I had that size but I wouldn't even be satisfied.
It's not really ewww look at her it's more like I personally know I couldn't even be happy at that size even if she looks great. Because there are people who are bigger (I'm not talking about sloppy fat now) and they do look wonderful it works for them. But it really does not work for me. I really feel the need to loose weight, for so many different reasons.
1. Fashion. I love fashion and the fashion that I like looks good on skinny people, it's cheaper in smaller sizes, you have more choice in smaller sizes and I could raid my besties closet.
2. My best friend is super skinny and struggling to gain a few pounds (I know she's such a heifer, but I love her to death), when I walk next to her I feel ugly and the funny thing is she could care less about weight, she doesn't even refer to people's weight unless of course it's like oh so and so told me she lost a bunch of weight doing this or that, since she's knows I'm trying to loose...just not how.
3. My Japanese Pop-Culture obsession. I love the clothes, the music, the art, the tv shows, anime, manga, the language etc. etc. I couldn't even wear the clothes now because they don't come in my size...plus size what's that? Oh yeah let's not forget the hot guys oh yeah they are sexy which brings me finally to
4. I'm single, which is not surprising because I'm a fat cow, and honestly I don't feel like I deserve to be with somebody until I feel like they can at least introduce me as their hot girlfriend. I do not want to be that girlfriend where people later are like WTF was that.
Yes yes I know most of these seem to be outside reasons but hell I'm a victim of the media...that's my story and I'm sticking to it!!!!
I think that'll be it for today, maybe not who knows, since I'm back in blogging mood (we'll see how long that holds)
OH OH OH one more questions are there any other parents out there going down a road of extreme weight loss, with "Pro-Ana tendencies" (lack of better terminology)? I'm just curious maybe we can support each other!!! Of course non-parents get my support to.
I WILL REACH MY GOAL
I MUST STAY POSITIVE
Stromae - Alors on Danse is on MTV right now and it'll give me the boost I need because it's just a feel good song for me.
So...
I've been spending my day mostly reading blogs. I don't get much done because once I read all the updates for the once I'm following and I go look at a new blog I tend to read the whole blog and not just the most recent posts. So it's pretty time consuming but I like it because it keeps me from eating and it's just so inspiring to me. Just the strength of everybody to get back up and keep going even if they fall off. I tried following some of the people today and the stupid google was being a butt and kept telling me to try again later. I'll do it later, I've bookmarked them.
One of the people was Pokerface (hope you don't mind that I linked you in) but he had a quiz he mentioned in one of his posts that tells you how much you weigh. It told me 135lbs. Wow that's a long way to go but I don't think it'll be enough...I don't know I can tell I won't just be satisfied at that weight.
Another thing on blogs I really want to comment more, I do it's just that sometimes I don't know exactly how to put my words in a nice compact little comment and it would end up more like a blog post. I'm working on it promise. Also I had gotten 2 comments (woohoo they made me happy in my pants lol) and I didn't even realize until today because I thought I'd get like a notice or something but I guess not....oops, but I wrote back now!!
My food intake today (in that order)
1 cup of Ginger Tee 5 cals (don't know but I'll give 5 cals can't be more than that Darjeeling has 1 but if you know...)
1/4 L Soy/Banana Milk 197.5 cals
1.5 Plates of Rice with Tofu and Veggies 400 cals (guesstimate since I'm not sure)
1 cup of Ginger Tee 5 cals
Total 607.5 so far which is fine if I still drink that SB Milk but I won't force myself. I'll try to drink more water today, because what you see there is all I've had no extra drinks...I know really bad. Which reminds me Heather[Hunger] you can always try to drink more tea because it makes me pee a lot so I usually don't feel like I'm gaining from it.
I might have more SB Milk because I made 1/2L so there's still half in the fridge. But I'm worried I didn't calculate enough for dinner. I'm sure I'm not the only one who worries when they have to guesstimate the calorie amount I might actually over guess but I always think I'm just not calculating enough calories.
When I opened the fridge earlier today to get the Tofu out my fridge was pretty empty with the exception of my soy milk, Tofu and Mini Me's food. I love it. I'm not even tempted by her food. I call it her food because I don't eat it but obviously she still does so most of the food I buy is actually for her. But yeah I loved looking at my empty fridge it was beautiful especially since I know I don't eat out of the house to much since that's just way to freaking expensive.
I even have chocolate for her here (and for me) but I'm not tempted I don't want any of it. I just picture all the disgusting ass additives in junk food that are like a drug making me want to eat and I can not want it. I know it sounds funny coming from someone who loves to smoke but hey at least smoking green doesn't make fat. (unless you succumb to the munchies but that's not really one of my problems).
Well basically it's great that I can avoid junk food but I don't feel like I have enough discipline in my eating. I almost feel like I need to set some drastic guidelines for myself and things especially concerning my calorie intake. I'm just way to la di da with it. Also I really need to start working out but everytime I start I mentally get this thing saying guess what you can eat now because you worked out. I know so retarded but yeah...
*
*
*
TOPIC SWIIIIIITCH
Lately they've been bringing a lot about plus size models on tv and how the skinny craze is having an end in the fashion world, (especially the whole Beth Ditto being Karl Lagerfelds muse which they've been killing that piece of news since it came out). Sigh...well I do think it's great that the plus sizes are getting representation and what not and I love the confidence that these women have and if truth be told I am truly jealous of it because if I had it I wouldn't be fighting so hard but I've just come to the point where I look at it and I just don't find it attractive. I've gotten my mind so set on weight loss that I'm even critical with people on the street. For example I see people smaller than me (but not skinny) and I'm like oooh how I wish I had that size but I wouldn't even be satisfied.
It's not really ewww look at her it's more like I personally know I couldn't even be happy at that size even if she looks great. Because there are people who are bigger (I'm not talking about sloppy fat now) and they do look wonderful it works for them. But it really does not work for me. I really feel the need to loose weight, for so many different reasons.
1. Fashion. I love fashion and the fashion that I like looks good on skinny people, it's cheaper in smaller sizes, you have more choice in smaller sizes and I could raid my besties closet.
2. My best friend is super skinny and struggling to gain a few pounds (I know she's such a heifer, but I love her to death), when I walk next to her I feel ugly and the funny thing is she could care less about weight, she doesn't even refer to people's weight unless of course it's like oh so and so told me she lost a bunch of weight doing this or that, since she's knows I'm trying to loose...just not how.
3. My Japanese Pop-Culture obsession. I love the clothes, the music, the art, the tv shows, anime, manga, the language etc. etc. I couldn't even wear the clothes now because they don't come in my size...plus size what's that? Oh yeah let's not forget the hot guys oh yeah they are sexy which brings me finally to
4. I'm single, which is not surprising because I'm a fat cow, and honestly I don't feel like I deserve to be with somebody until I feel like they can at least introduce me as their hot girlfriend. I do not want to be that girlfriend where people later are like WTF was that.
Yes yes I know most of these seem to be outside reasons but hell I'm a victim of the media...that's my story and I'm sticking to it!!!!
I think that'll be it for today, maybe not who knows, since I'm back in blogging mood (we'll see how long that holds)
OH OH OH one more questions are there any other parents out there going down a road of extreme weight loss, with "Pro-Ana tendencies" (lack of better terminology)? I'm just curious maybe we can support each other!!! Of course non-parents get my support to.
I WILL REACH MY GOAL
I MUST STAY POSITIVE
As promised....
These are the weight loss tips I got out of the magazine I told you people about.
Disclaimer: I did not come up with these, they were published in a magazine so if they don't work, or something I take no responsibility!!!
Oh I translated these from German to English so please excuse any funkyness in translation and if you'd like the original just post a comment or something and I'll e-mail it to you, I've typed it up.
1. Slimming-Vitamin
Those who go for Citrus fruit before bed loose weight overnight. What few people know: Vitamin C is very much involved in fat burn in the body. Tip: Every day after 10 PM drink a glass of water, mixed with the juice of two lemons -- the vitamin C does the rest.
2. Cycling
No sport brings the figure in form as riding a bike does. Targeting the problem areas to build muscles, fat is burned in record time. Important: Fat loss only works when the pulse does not exceed 130 beats/min.
3. Sugar Barrier
According to a study by the Scripps Clinic in San Diego suggests that grapefruit juice, raises sugar metabolism. If your sugar metabolism works well, less sugar is stored in the cells. This also means that less sugar is converted into fat. Recommendation, from the Researchers: Daily half a grapefruit as a snack.
4. Metabolism Push
Biochemists have found: The essential oils in ginger, increase the body temperature and increase energy consumption. The lipid metabolism runs faster by up to 25 percent - and that for hours. Tip: Three times a day drink 1 cup of unsweetened hot ginger tea after eating.
5. Weightloss Code
Spanish doctors found: Olive oil is a highly effective kilo-killer. Test subjects who participated and consumed 2tsp. olive oil in the morning, lost Up to 14 kilos in six months'. Explanation of the research: The contained acids (in German it said Phenolsaeuren but I'm not sure what those are and neither did the online translator) in the oil stimulate the lipid metabolism - the body burns more calories.
6. Espresso Kick
Eating without gaining? That's possible - if you drink Espresso afterwards. The contained caffeine increases fat burning by 30%. Stronger than drip coffee, thermogenesis (the body's own heat)gets started, in the following 3 hours you'll consume more calories.
7. Cold Shower
A Cold Shower "burns" up to 300 calories. Already 10 seconds under a cold stream increases the number fatburning stress hormones by up to 40%. But only cold shocks for two minutes work. Prolonged freezing slows the metabolism.
8. Herbal Power
Every second diet fails due to hunger pangs. Tip: Every day a handful of watercress in the salad or on bread. Dlouble effect: the contained chrome activates the feeling of fullness and increases fat burning in the muscles up to 400%(yes it said 400% not a typo)
9. Fat-Killer Breakfast
Anyone who leaves out the first meal gains weight. Reason: Breakfast makes the body release the peptide YY. This hormone stops appetite for hours, as researchers found out at the Universities of Parma and Verona. Tip: muesli with nuts accelerate fat burn
10. Fatburner Substances
Broccoli, Bell Peppers, cabbage: This vegetables contain a lot of fat burning substances. Tip: To supply the body with slimming substances, you should have one meal a day with Veggies. (Half of them raw, half steamed)
11. Natures-Force
It is considered a secret among physicians: the artichoke. Their bitterstoffe (yeah don't know what that is but just take it as some sort of extract) help to digest fats, melt fat pouches. As an extract or Pflanzenpresssaft (i don't know for sure what that is but basically it's the juice pressed from the plant)use for about 6-8 weeks. This brings up to 6 pounds of weight loss.
12. Turbo-Drink
You replace a meal and simultaneously stimulate fat burn at the same time: Slim drinks. According to Nutritionists the best drink:
1 banana
1/4 liter of soy milk
puree, enjoy and lose weight. The Perfect dosage: 2 drinks a day.
13. Gum-Chewing Trick
Chew away excess pounds! A U.S. study from the Mayo Clinic shows: chewing gum increases the metabolic rate by up to 19%. The researchers have calculated that you can remove an additional pound a month.
14 Jump-rope effect
Researchers discovered that 15 min. of jump-roping kills one Kiogram per week! Reason: Three times a day five minutes has the same effect as a 2 week 1500-calorie-diet. Doctors recommend this for people without joint problems.
On a personal note:
I don't think I'll ever follow #9. I do not do well with solid foods in the morning.
Oh one more note...I now have two people following this blog....whoohoo
Disclaimer: I did not come up with these, they were published in a magazine so if they don't work, or something I take no responsibility!!!
Oh I translated these from German to English so please excuse any funkyness in translation and if you'd like the original just post a comment or something and I'll e-mail it to you, I've typed it up.
1. Slimming-Vitamin
Those who go for Citrus fruit before bed loose weight overnight. What few people know: Vitamin C is very much involved in fat burn in the body. Tip: Every day after 10 PM drink a glass of water, mixed with the juice of two lemons -- the vitamin C does the rest.
2. Cycling
No sport brings the figure in form as riding a bike does. Targeting the problem areas to build muscles, fat is burned in record time. Important: Fat loss only works when the pulse does not exceed 130 beats/min.
3. Sugar Barrier
According to a study by the Scripps Clinic in San Diego suggests that grapefruit juice, raises sugar metabolism. If your sugar metabolism works well, less sugar is stored in the cells. This also means that less sugar is converted into fat. Recommendation, from the Researchers: Daily half a grapefruit as a snack.
4. Metabolism Push
Biochemists have found: The essential oils in ginger, increase the body temperature and increase energy consumption. The lipid metabolism runs faster by up to 25 percent - and that for hours. Tip: Three times a day drink 1 cup of unsweetened hot ginger tea after eating.
5. Weightloss Code
Spanish doctors found: Olive oil is a highly effective kilo-killer. Test subjects who participated and consumed 2tsp. olive oil in the morning, lost Up to 14 kilos in six months'. Explanation of the research: The contained acids (in German it said Phenolsaeuren but I'm not sure what those are and neither did the online translator) in the oil stimulate the lipid metabolism - the body burns more calories.
6. Espresso Kick
Eating without gaining? That's possible - if you drink Espresso afterwards. The contained caffeine increases fat burning by 30%. Stronger than drip coffee, thermogenesis (the body's own heat)gets started, in the following 3 hours you'll consume more calories.
7. Cold Shower
A Cold Shower "burns" up to 300 calories. Already 10 seconds under a cold stream increases the number fatburning stress hormones by up to 40%. But only cold shocks for two minutes work. Prolonged freezing slows the metabolism.
8. Herbal Power
Every second diet fails due to hunger pangs. Tip: Every day a handful of watercress in the salad or on bread. Dlouble effect: the contained chrome activates the feeling of fullness and increases fat burning in the muscles up to 400%(yes it said 400% not a typo)
9. Fat-Killer Breakfast
Anyone who leaves out the first meal gains weight. Reason: Breakfast makes the body release the peptide YY. This hormone stops appetite for hours, as researchers found out at the Universities of Parma and Verona. Tip: muesli with nuts accelerate fat burn
10. Fatburner Substances
Broccoli, Bell Peppers, cabbage: This vegetables contain a lot of fat burning substances. Tip: To supply the body with slimming substances, you should have one meal a day with Veggies. (Half of them raw, half steamed)
11. Natures-Force
It is considered a secret among physicians: the artichoke. Their bitterstoffe (yeah don't know what that is but just take it as some sort of extract) help to digest fats, melt fat pouches. As an extract or Pflanzenpresssaft (i don't know for sure what that is but basically it's the juice pressed from the plant)use for about 6-8 weeks. This brings up to 6 pounds of weight loss.
12. Turbo-Drink
You replace a meal and simultaneously stimulate fat burn at the same time: Slim drinks. According to Nutritionists the best drink:
1 banana
1/4 liter of soy milk
puree, enjoy and lose weight. The Perfect dosage: 2 drinks a day.
13. Gum-Chewing Trick
Chew away excess pounds! A U.S. study from the Mayo Clinic shows: chewing gum increases the metabolic rate by up to 19%. The researchers have calculated that you can remove an additional pound a month.
14 Jump-rope effect
Researchers discovered that 15 min. of jump-roping kills one Kiogram per week! Reason: Three times a day five minutes has the same effect as a 2 week 1500-calorie-diet. Doctors recommend this for people without joint problems.
On a personal note:
I don't think I'll ever follow #9. I do not do well with solid foods in the morning.
Oh one more note...I now have two people following this blog....whoohoo
Weigh In
God it's been a little time again between posts, however the time has come the walrus said... sorry sidetracked. I will be posting the tips today!!! Promise not with this post but probably in a few hours I can't find the paper at the moment but I'll hunt
anyway this morning my weight was.....
179.9lbs (81.6kg)
Finally under 180...I mean yeah I've got a looooooooooooooooooooooong way to go, but at least I finally see I'm on my way. God I hate looking in the mirror so much I just want this weight off.
A friend told me I have a distorted body image...whatever I'm a fucking lard ass.
Food wise I've been following the tips a little bit, but I did forget to buy lemons dammit. Anyway I'll have them posted later today...
I've been eating Tofu lately. It is good but I like really plain foods. So I'll just throw some Tofu, Bell Peppers, and Soy Sauce in the pan. Basically I've become an at home vegetarian. No meat will be cooked or prepared in my house for my consumption anymore.
Sorry for the random ramblings....
anyway this morning my weight was.....
179.9lbs (81.6kg)
Finally under 180...I mean yeah I've got a looooooooooooooooooooooong way to go, but at least I finally see I'm on my way. God I hate looking in the mirror so much I just want this weight off.
A friend told me I have a distorted body image...whatever I'm a fucking lard ass.
Food wise I've been following the tips a little bit, but I did forget to buy lemons dammit. Anyway I'll have them posted later today...
I've been eating Tofu lately. It is good but I like really plain foods. So I'll just throw some Tofu, Bell Peppers, and Soy Sauce in the pan. Basically I've become an at home vegetarian. No meat will be cooked or prepared in my house for my consumption anymore.
Sorry for the random ramblings....
Thursday, March 11, 2010
oh my....
it's been so long since I posted....
well let's see my fast...FAILURE ok I did do 5 days which I'm proud of but not proud of the fact that I couldn't pull through like I wanted. My weight hasn't really changed either. Which sucks ass.
Anyway my thinspiration at the moment is Vanessa Paradis. I can totally get why Johnny Depp would be with her after seeing this pic of her:
So basically my eating has changed. When I was on the fast I was craving Tofu. So now I eat no meat but I eat Tofu. I am not vegetarian however because if somebody set a juicy steak in front of me I'll probably get weak.
Oh and I'm drinking a great soy milk drink I make myself as meal replacements.
1/4L Soy Milk
1 Banana
It's really good
When I feel like typing more maybe later today I'm gonna post some tips on weight loss that I got from a Magazine over here. It's in German so I'll have to see what some of the foods are called in English.
My weight this morning was 186.3lbs(84.5kg)
well let's see my fast...FAILURE ok I did do 5 days which I'm proud of but not proud of the fact that I couldn't pull through like I wanted. My weight hasn't really changed either. Which sucks ass.
Anyway my thinspiration at the moment is Vanessa Paradis. I can totally get why Johnny Depp would be with her after seeing this pic of her:
So basically my eating has changed. When I was on the fast I was craving Tofu. So now I eat no meat but I eat Tofu. I am not vegetarian however because if somebody set a juicy steak in front of me I'll probably get weak.
Oh and I'm drinking a great soy milk drink I make myself as meal replacements.
1/4L Soy Milk
1 Banana
It's really good
When I feel like typing more maybe later today I'm gonna post some tips on weight loss that I got from a Magazine over here. It's in German so I'll have to see what some of the foods are called in English.
My weight this morning was 186.3lbs(84.5kg)
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