I'm sick I know....

ok so this whole post will be an edit since I obviously somehow posted it before even starting to type...
anyway so to start of with my weigh-in I weighed 177.7lbs (80.6kg) this morning. I now loathe myself for Starbucks, but if I turned it down yesterday, I know the Parental Units would have said something...
Today I will drink as much as possible and eat as little as possible but I still have to cook dinner...ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
so I've been spending a lot of time on what I'm going to do while I get my life in order, whenever that starts for sure we'll see.
I have a list with all the things I want to accomplish but you know what the first thought in that whole process was knowing that mini-me wouldn't be staying with me?
I can empty my kitchen and fridge of all solid foods and condiments, only have soy milk and other liquids in my fridge. No more making dinners, no more need to finish mini-me's food, no more need to eat food, complete restriction. And of course should the binge need occur my apartment is my own, I can just let Mia take control, no need to wait until mini-me is in bed, or otherwise occupied so she can't interrupt (sick? I know. bad parenting? definitely). I know I've been avoiding her the past few months.
This is basically why:

1. My teeth started hurting
2. I started getting really bad chest pains throughout the day
3. Although I haven't went yet I had been planning to go to the dentist and I was paranoid about them finding evidence on my teeth.

and not in that order more like 3.1.2 sick right the chest pain was the least of my concerns. I know I should keep her out but she's comforting you know...

Anyway these are my goals for my time of healing, broken up into different aspects:

Therapy:
~Find out:
-What is wrong with me? (Besides the obvious)
-Why am I like this?
-Why can't I deal with people?
Learn to cope

Freetime:
~Learn the violin (I actually ordered one and a book online last week)
~Explore the cities that I live around
~Make friends (by that I mean people who care)
~Find enjoyment in living "normal"
~Lean Japanese (which I'm already doing but I want to stick to it)
~Do arts & crafts (totally elementary I know, but I do want to make the bracelet Emily was talking about in her last post)

Home:
~Clean the house top to bottom including any cabinets, closets, dressers, drawers, etc.
~Throw SHIT away (I hoard everything because just MAYBE I might need it again, but there's no way I need size 22 pants anymore except for one pair to remember where I started)
~Organize especially all my paperwork

Health:
~Eat more veggies (I know simple concept but had to follow)
~Attempt at being Vegan (not so much for animal rights but all the foods that automatically get cut out of my diet)
~Start going running, I want to start slowly but I want to start and force myself to find enjoyment in it
~Get a full body check up and go to my gyno...I hate doctors I do I don't trust them I'm paranoid they'll diagnose something just so they can give me meds so the pharmaceutical companies can make some money off me (yeah call me crazy)
~Reach a healthy BMI and not be overweight...I could write reach my goal weight but I don't want to get to goal oriented here...BABY STEPS!!!

yeah that's it but it's a lot and I know it may seem weird but I get like that when I start getting into a project (this time it's myself) I write down all the things I want to accomplish...in the beginning I'm enthusiastic, it's my impatience that let's me fail.

I realized I've been linking people and stuff and I'm sorry if that's not ok since I didn't ask permission, so if it bothers you and you'd rather not be linked just let me know, and know I am sorry!!!