Healthy Fruits and Veggies

my grandparents (health nuts) e-mailed this to me and i felt the need to share with you

(still catching up on blogs btw)


EAT LOTS OF SWEET POTATOES
this is old but a good reminder...

It's been said that God first separated the salt water from the fresh, made dry land, planted a garden, made animals and fish... All before making a human. He made and provided what we'd need before we were born. These are best & more powerful when eaten raw. We're such slow learners...
God left us a great clue as to what foods help what part of our body!
God's Pharmacy! Amazing!
A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye... And YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.
A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All of the research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food.
Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.
A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.

Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.

Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don't have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.

avocados, Eggplant and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female - they look just like these organs. Today's research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this? It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods. Modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them.

Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm as well to overcome male sterility.

Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.

Oranges, Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.
Onions look like the body's cells. Today's research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, Garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.

DEEZ NUTS

title inspired by tai's comment on my last vlog
oh and the lovely lou gave me an award and i will handle that shizzle nizzle when i have the time i swears!!!!
so roomie is setting things straight with her woman...well fiance they re-engaged. i like to call it the lesbian illness, moving on in the relationship at the speed of light. roomie laughed at me when i told her that. it just seems most lesbians i deal with move from getting to know each other to moving in together to being engaged in a matter of weeks. i think it's just this biological clock in us women that make us feel like we have to settle down ASAP (skipped me though) and i guess when it's two women it's more pressure. however i don't want to pass judgment just because i don't believe in all that thanks to bad role models *cough*parentals*cough* just because i lack a belief in the marital institution, and all that jazz. if it makes them happy.... it's just since i've known roomie (roughly a year) this is her third girlfriend and third engagement broken (well this one seems fixed). idk. her life. i've got her back regardless and it's actually at the moment pretty cool to hang out with them and stuff. anyway the point wasn't on moving to fast in the relationship the point is although she's still officially staying over here she's spending the night over there. it was quite amusing to hear them haggling about how long they were going to have sex tonight.
speaking of sex i went out friday night. i didn't really want to during the day but my friend, mia-girly broke up with her boyfriend and her grandma is in somewhat critical condition and honestly i love helping friends out (no sarcasm, said like riley from the boondocks says no homo). yeah it was quite interesting i didn't get super drunk however some 19 year old kid (yes kid, you'll see why in a sec) somehow became convinced that we were in a relationship. his sexual performance sucked, failure actually damn alcohol. but afterwards when we were back in the club he's all like i love you. i was like "woah buddy don't go saying that shit to fast" i think that hurt his feelings. anyway when i went off with mia-girly to the other room to dance i ended up going upstairs with her and some guys, the guy into me kissed my cheek and the kid swooped in talking about "you got caught". i'm thinking doing what we aren't together holmes. yeah crazy night. anyway ended up giving my number out to some other guy who's been calling me like everyday since sunday. i have got to stop this drunken giving out my number. however as funny as the evening was i realized on saturday that really it's just self-destructive behavior and self-loathing making me act this way. i tend to get trashed, pick ugly guys, have sex with them because i don't do any other self destructive things (purging doesn't count more on that later when i get to how fat my ass has gotten). i don't cut or anything so i fuck up my liver, vagina, and self respect all in one night. isn't that just grand.
i have got to get therapy. seriously. and although i know i need to stop i think the next time i go out it'll be the same thing all over again no matter how much i plan not to before i go. DYLPHE MUST LOATHE HERSELF! but then again i don't even dare try pulling decent guys because i don't feel like i deserve them and then i don't believe i could pull them if i tried because i've always been the fat one and fat one=ugly one, let's just keep it real.
ok now onto the fatness. yesterday i weighed in at 76.6kg and today at 74. something. how disgusting is that shit? VEEERY. who is to blame? none other than yours truly.
i will admit that some of it was just this bit of vanity i've been feeling. roomie is quite the big girl. and by quite the big girl i mean me at my highest weight if not more. so she always brought food and candy and all the shit i can't usuallyallow myself. and of course i didn't purge it. because i was not alone and while i was stuffing my face the thought of "if you eat this you'll be that" never even crossed my mind. i don't even have a right to mention ana or mia at this point because it's been absolute failure on both parts. and i can't just blame it on the food gifts no i binged when i had like two hours for myself, enough for a binge and purge but it ended up  just being a binge.
have i done any exercise? who the fuck are you kidding. none. i'm back in my size 14 though i might be able to squeeze into my twelves but that means i'd have to wash them and i fear the attempt because failure could lead to suicide. ok not really but definitely the thoughts and some sort of self destructive/hurting/harming...fuck it, let's just say pain inducing behavior i haven't tried out yet/recently. i was thinking of just smacking the shit out of myself next time food touched my lips but that's kind of hard to do when somebody is with you when you're eating. and then i forgot to. but it's definitely up for consideration, wouldn't be the first time i smacked myself. (is it sad that i just now did it to make sure i still could smack myself hard? no? good i know you love me ^_^)
i've gotten more supporters. what the fuck i don't even deserve you guys. i love you that's for sure. i love you like a fat kid loves cake...i think that's an incredibly bad line over here but can anyone love anything more than a fat kid loves cake? no i don't think so because this is personal experience talking, and there is nothing wiser than that...unless you keep making the same fucking mistakes over and over and over and over much like myself. join the club.
i'm sorry this isn't the most positive post but really as much as i've been laughing with roomie i'm hating myself inside. i hate myself because i'm a fat dumbass. a fat dumbass that people take as an example (in real life) to get themselves to consider weight loss. WTF bitches i'm fat stop looking at me for inspiration look at the awesome hotness with leg gaps walking around. seriously people. i'm stuffing my fucking face here. it's vile and disgusting. maybe i should film myself eating because i stuff myself like i'm never going to have a go at it again. and everytime i want to eat i'll fucking watch that video.
i also need to do something about the exercise. i was excited  because a friend of mine returned my wii to me but the bastard forgot my ddr mat. you know that shit is exercise without feeling like it.and if i can't get to the gym this is what i need.
uhmmm....let's see what else oh yeah i won't be able to catch up on blogs/vlogs tonight because i'm exhausted i was up last night because mini-me was feverish and so i didn't get much sleep. i'll try tomorrow if roomie stays at her woman's house also during the day since i'm keeping mini-me home tomorrow as well..
so many things to do so little time to do them i swear guys it's weird. i'm feeling weird. full of loathing towards myself but i'm trying to love myself again i just know i can't do that until i get back on track and right now i'm absolutely lost as to how to get back on. i want to order protein shakes but since i want the soy kind i have to order it online which means i have to get my money first. damn day care taking forever to give me my money. "bitch betta have my money" followed by (from how high) "I~~NEEEEED~~~MON-EEEEEEY" yeah i'm a bit crazy at the moment no clue why.
yeah so i need sleep i think that's part of why this post is so fucking crazy right now.
STAY STRONG (stronger than me...not so hard you can do it!!!)
MUAAAAAAH

vlupdate

so

this will be quick i'm currently letting my friend live with me because she broke up with her girlfriend and they were living together so i don't know how much i'll be able to get on and blog. she said she'll be sleeping somewhere else the end of the week so i should be able to blog then. my mood has improved however so no worries i'm getting there. the weight is slooooowly coming off with my b/p / e/p method. stay strong
muah

what i smoked in 1.5 days ughhh such an expensive habit

ups are usually followed by downs (jumbled and not happy)

i apologize for my absence i know you're sick of  hearing my apologies but lately i haven't felt like much of anything yet had to do so much. i even let my quotes blog slide. i won't make any promises because i haven't been able to keep them.
my weight was something around 73 this morning, i didn't even bother to look behind the decimal because anything over 70 is to much. i should be really happy i got my hair cut yesterday and my parents paid, it was my father's idea which surprised me. now he's cracking jokes that i wasted the money because he has clippers at home. i shaved it on the side but on the picture it looks like a bald spot because only the blond part shows and looks like scalp. i'll fix it next week when i have money to buy hair dye again. i dyed my hair on the weekend it's green now. i missed some spots and i can see that now with the hair cut.
i've been so angry lately and i've been yelling at my daughter too much and she usually just stands there and looks at me like she knows i don't mean it. i apologize to her but i feel like a shit mom because no child should have to even come to that realization at age 3 or at any age for that matter. at least i know that i love her, something i wasn't to sure of around this time of year last year but i was pretty fucked up then. once again i had lost my ability to purge but i kept binging like i could and now i still binge and have to force myself to purge i don't feel like it even though i know i'll feel better after. i feel unmotivated in doing pretty much everything in life. at least i'm not suicidal because even the contemplation of death is to much work right now. i'm in a slump that lacks positivity i'm cussing people out in my head all day and WOOOZAAAHH is not working. it sucks ass cheeks. i'm almost done with my apartment. i rearranged my living room. i now have space to do my step aerobics dvd but i still haven't done it. i wanted to do it tonight but i spent my motivation on finding the dvd behind my bed. what the hell is wrong with me. i hate myself, i hate my weight, i try not to eat because truth be told i don't even have the money to be binging right now but i am. i was cheered up a bit after talking to my bestie for a while today but dammit that was a short lived high.
i've done good things this week. things that should make me feel better. i gauged my left ear yesterday only to two millimeters but we all have to start somewhere. i totally forgot to tell you guys last week? whenever i did it that i gauged the right ear. my left was still healing at the time from the last attempt of ear rape. well anyway lets see my accomplishments that should make me happy:
rearranged my living room
gauged my ears
got a hair cut that was needed
dyed my hair
made a considerable dent in my laundry pile (which just means i've got to many clothes to go so long without really washing)
i was there for friends who needed to talk on the phone until late at night/early morning my time (which isn't a bother at all)
cleaned my whole house (almost laundry means it's not done)
i don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. oh yeah aunt flow came today maybe that's what it is but i've never had such a low due to hormones.
i started reading the dark tower series today, lou was mentioning it recently and it's been staring at me from my book shelf so i decided to reread it i'll probably like it more now since it's almost like reading a totally new series since i'd read it last in high school and college.

i want to thank all of you guys for your lovely comments i got for my drunken post ha ha so here's answers to the questions:

@Tai: Fasching is carnival, it actually starts on november 11 at 11:11am every year but the parades are always the last sunday and monday before lent starts. the last chance to go crazy and party before people start having to give stuff up for 40 days. this year it'll be big i'm sure since the start will be 11-11-11 at 11:11
@Lola: ich weiss nicht genau wie viel Englisch die Kleine versteht aber ich rede nur Deutsch mit ihr. Mein Vater redet Englisch mit ihr und meine Mutter manchmal auch, ausserdem lernt sie ein paar Sachen im Kindergarten.


and not related to my previous post Lou I'm happy that you like what I sent you that makes me happy (^_^).
oh here's my new hair cut:

and of course the ear rape

well that's all folks i hope to catch up on blogs this weekend because although i love you guys even for that i was lacking motivation
stay strong
MUAH

thunder thighs

ok here we go the full body shot today crooked ears and all
(i'm sober again)

Vloggety vloggety drunk bitcheeeeeeeeeeeessssss lmao

mini me and i at fasching:

i still have to make noodle salad for my kids day care tomorrow because they are having a party tomorrow for fasching/carnival
oh and it is possible to upload vids directly to blogger but it didn't work for me
CHEERS BITCHEEEEEES
p.s. that damn video took so long to upload that i've made the noodle salad so since i wasn't allowed to use mayo (raw eggs) i used yogurt as a substitute

this afternoon i did it

i broke the 70kg barrier. i weighed this afternoon after 2 b/ps i'm actually waiting on the food delivery for number 3 maybe 4. my weight was 153.2lbls (69.5kg) woot woot. but i can't feel to much happiness unless it stays that way. god i should be celebrating but you can't trust a weigh in at your lowest low unless it stays that way at least for 24 hours. we'll see what tomorrow brings. i'll attempt at starvation tomorrow. however i won't hold myself accountable. but i will have a 600 cal limit should i feel the need to let anything into my body.
i'm feeling the effects of my extreme purging, my gums are killing me. and i feel like there's an air of vomit air following me around, ugh. logically i know it's not the case but you know...
so i've been close to getting panic attacks again. i'm not quite there. i was close to curling up in a ball and screaming at the top of my lungs in the grocery store. i was so freaked out i don't know. that was the second time i went to the store today. the first time i almost had one because i felt people were judging me based on my purchases, same when i bought the chinese food for my binge i was like the bitch knows what's gonna go down. paranoia cha cha cha.
just finished my final b/p and popped 2 more laxies so i'm up to a total of five today i took 3 earlier today.
to combat my dehydration i bought an isotonic drink mix so i'll get some electrolytes and it has L-Carnitin which it helps your body burn fat. win win right? well i think so. my nose hurts really bad after that last purge but at least there's no blood. my body is starting to fight me though it's getting more difficult to purge. i had to tell my body to stop fucking with me. and then it cooperated.
i wanted to do a shout out to Silhouette formerly known as Fading Figure. she had to set up a new blog because of discovery and now lacks followers.
well i'm exhausted and they're about to bring a documentary on Vivian Westwood on tv, right now it's the end of the Lagerfeld documentary Lagerfeld Confidential. I have even more respect for him now.
i'm off to fall asleep to some fashion and bones (i hope)
love you guys
stay strong
MUAH
hopefully tomorrow i can gather my scattered thoughts (purging seems to have killed some braincells) and write a proper post even if i have to work on it all freaking day

bone envy

i was watching germany's next top model tonight, all in all it's boring but the girls are gorgeous and worthy of envy.
let's see i kinda sorta broke of sgd. or rather i've turned it to if i must consume and keep it down it must stay under said calorie limit as set by sgd but these past two days it's been e/p.
still haven't handled the PF issue. I think she thinks the longer she drags it out the more likely i'm going to still be her friend. but nope. I've been great without her. feeling hella positive lately. Don't need that in my life.
on the bright side this afternoon my weight was (70.8kg) and i was able to get into a size 40 (10 US) woot woot. so unfortunately e/p works. which means letting go of mia at this point is not on my mind. as many times as i've said she's got to go, now i'm on my she's got to stay track. that's the problem with disorders your body's health is not important.
speaking of my body yesterday i had a huge b/p (about a pound of noodles w/ cheese ketchup mayonnaise gross sounding i know, bag of chips, chocolate croissants, cookies, mini cakes etc.) ok rather i had 4 b/ps with all that stuff, stuffed until my stomach felt like it would burst, and then all hail the porcelain king. anyway the first purge after i was done cleaning up especially my nose because 1/4th came out that way, there was blood in my nose. weird i know. but not painful and definitely not enough to scare me. but for all those out there contemplating this as a weight loss tool take it as a warning your body will start "falling" apart. DON'T DO IT.
Lou I sent your package today because this doofus here forgot how long it would take to get to the states. Face Palm. However I didn't forget your birthday I'm just a little slow  and late. It's actually almost your birthday over here in about 32 minutes.
well i'm going to attempt at some sleep for now and will play catch up on blogs tomorrow since today i slept like all day, purging does take it out of me at the moment, not drinking isn't helping but i'm trying i really am.
Enid stay strong hun we'll reach our goals this summer yes we will!!!!!!
Stay strong
MUAH

I'm ready to give up

yesterday i stayed within SGD guidelines. This morning I have no loss. I'm ready to give up. Ready to turn back to mia and e/p and b/p. what's the point i wonder.
yesterday i did purge, i basically ate some bread that would have been allowed but i felt so guilty i purged it anyway.
this is the first time i'm following a specific plan and i don't think it's working for me. it's all about chaos i guess and going with the flow. maybe i just need to take a shit i don't know. today it's 400 cals again which isn't to hard. i might just stick it out but right now it's upsetting.
i'm sorry this is jumbled lack of sleep and i'm tired because my kid decided to wake me up in the most annoying way. whining. i hate whiners, i don't do whiners. i tolerate much but i do not do whiners, whether it's my kid or an adult or friend. i just can't. i can take nails scratching a chalkboard all day but a whining tone has the same effect as that scratching has for other people.
anyway time to handle mini-me's morning stuff since i have a 9:30 appointment for something and then have to meet with PF this afternoon to give her her shit. more on that tonight i'm sure if i'm not to tired.
stay strong
muah