missing you...

I miss my eating disorder...it was the worst time of my life but it gave me purpose...I can't turn to mia I don't think I'm able to purge anymore...but I do miss ana. I have gotten so fat its fucking ridiculous...I am scared to step on my scale but in all seriousness I'm flirting with the idea I can't seem to cope without her in my life. I've been a good girl so long but I look in the mirror full of disgust. ...Dylphe may be back....