this is what i had but it may be triggering so i decided to make it unreadable unless you highlight so at your own risk:
lasagna
penne with gorgonzola sauce
1 chocolate & 2 chocolate chip muffins
2.5 pretzels with cream cheese
1 can of lobster soup tasted like lobster bisque with ravioli sauce (it was cheap so yeah)
a box of mozarella sticks
a box of jalapeno cheese nuggets
yeah so basically i did a major fail. i was supposed to go to an appointment for a lawyer to figure out the whole situation with mini-me's sperm donor but she's sick so i had to cancel
i hope i can be good today. i want to be good.
why mia is bad:
- bad skin
- bad hair
- bad organs
- knuckle abuse
- loss of control
- anger (for me i get mad if i get interrupted during a binge. i just want to binge in peace)
- expensive
- failing ana
- greed
- unallowed foods
- eating foods designated for mini-me
- bloody vomit
- dead looking face (halloween is over don't you know)
- turning to laxitives (it's a recent developement i wanted to just clear out but i've noticed i'm liking this a bit to much but hell i'm a very substance dependent person and i know they don't help with calorie intake however i have two boxes and i know i'll feel the need to use them both up before i can stop it's the same with food i must eat all food in my house binge designated i can't just let it sit there. i really need to just stop buying it)
- dishes (more work for me)
- disgusting toilet
- chest pain
this is all i can think of for now but hopefully i can return to this list later to keep me from entering a b/p cycle though honestly i prefer b/p of just a binge.
well let me get this day started and once i've handled my b-room business i'll weigh myself which if it is a gain i won't be surprised i deserve that shit after yesterday. i can't seem to live the mid 70's and i really need to this is getting ridiculous time to enter the 60's it really is.
stay strong beauties
MUAH
and just so you know i'm still reading your blogs just i've been super typing lazy lately just know i love each and every one of you!!!!
Hang in there. If for nothing else, then your heart. I remember my poor heart nearly gave out on me before I stopped.
ReplyDeleteHey there gal, i've got a few tips and suggtions, number 1: try drinking a glass of warm lemon water first thing in the morning, for some or other reason it helps keep you tummy calm and makes you feel full. also, the thing with ana/mia is that you have to mind fuck yourself, excuse the language. when you feel you have to binge or you want to, just stop, take a deep breathe and count to a hundred. after that look at what is in front of you, imagine it congealing in your stomach.. the fats seeping through your body and settling on your hips and tummy and covering up those lovely collar bones of yours. then go have a cup of black coffee, one sugar. coffee kills the appetite. but totally gross yourself out on what you eat, then you won't want to anymore. also, keep sipping water throughout the day, it also keeps you feeling full. everytime you feel you must eat or want to eat say to yourself let me just hold out for one hour, even half an hour. watch the clock, then reward yourself with half or a quater of what you were going to eat. distinguish between "good foods" and "bad foods" good foods are the ones that are non calorie, like apples, celery, that sort of thing, you can last off an apple the entire day. if hunger pains are the issue, first just ignore them, if it doesn't help drink a glass of ice cold water and nibble on a slice of apple. ag but ja, it's just some ideas... you can do this if you really want to. you just have to take it one step at a time. good luck and stay strong
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