Weight

<---Invisible Cake just what I need to eat!!! (^_^)
So this morning my weight is at 165.6lbs (75.1kg) which is great because who doesn't appreciate the loss but after the 3 b/p sessions last night it just encourages that. I had another one after my post last night. Which is not good. It's like I leave Mia because she breaks her loss promises and then when I return for some reason or another she keeps her promise and lures me back in. I just want to say FUCK YOU. It's truly a love hate relationship with her.
I wonder am I the only one but I feel a sense of pride in my disordered eating. I don't want anyone to have these issues please believe. I wish it on no one and hope no one gets started, but somehow in my head I have this little voice telling me look what you can accomplish and na na na na na I've got a secret. When I actually pull through it makes me feel like I'm better than the non disordered. I know it's a totally sick way of looking at it because it bugs me that eating and consumption stays on my mind during all my waking hours. I plan on being strong when I go out of the house today and not buy any unnecessary foods. Only what I truly need. I want to try just living off liquids. Not a liquid fast though because I want to drink my soymilk shakes. So no true solids so to speak. Also I need to start exercising. I really do I have the DVD I don't really have any more excuses I've got room in my apartment. My Step Aerobics DVD and my stepper. I really want to start to. I'm just thinking of the extreme awesomeness of what my body will morph to with some exercise. When I was in the hospital since exercise was part of the therapy I looked a lot better my thighs were close to not touching I could feel my hip bones clearly when laying down. It was so comforting. So exercise makes a difference and I need to remember the great feeling afterwards. Plus it'll speed up weight loss. And the ultimate goal must be reached next year. I can't keep going back and forth. Plus there's a concert I'm going to next march (if everything works out) Girugamesh, and I need to look skinny. Japanese band, so yeah.
STAY STRONG
MUAH

Rammstein is on MTV right now had to think of you Lola hope you have the awesomest time at your concert in December