Hypocrite much?

Oh yeah talking about myself. After a final attempt in giving myself a kick in the ass with the previous post (and possibly you guys to...idk), I've horribly failed.
Yesterday went something like this:

Binge, Purge
Binge, Purge
Binge, Purge
Order from Delivery Service
Binge, Purge
Binge, Purge
Binge, Purge

and then every left over Binging material was finished off with a similar pattern.
disgusting I know. I spend about 50 Euros on binging food yesterday...alone the money should be enough to keep me from doing it.
I don't even know how much I binged and purged but I'm sure the binging amount rivaled a supersize vs. superskinny participants daily intake.
I am kinda disgusted with myself however on another end i'm proud because i actually always went to purge. i didn't try to keep it in. so maybe that kick in the ass did work just not in the way i wanted it to.
i do believe thinking positive helps however. i'll stick to that. but the binging has to stop as do the multiple purges a day. i know it's bad for me but it is addicting and it does make me feel better but i do want to be there for my kid in the future so i need to seriously stop the excessive purging.
I want my restriction back
I am so sorry to all my followers for not having been very positive in my posting recently. please forgive me!!!!
Stay Strong (stronger than me!)!!!
MUAH