i just need to get something off my chest.
i think i need to give mini-me to foster care (it's possible here) for like a year. i need to get my shit together. my life needs order, i can't provide her with the right environment right now. does that make me a bad mother because i really do love her, it's just to much. i just need a year. i don't want to party, i just want to get myself together at least find the right direction and start heading in it. i want her to have a carefree childhood. how can i do that on welfare? i can't. i need to get my shit together, i thought it would be easier than this i thought i could but i can't...
i'm close to a break down and i don't want mini me going through that with me.
how can i be a good mother when i can't even take care of myself...?
if these thoughts continue i will take care of all necessary things. i hate myself so much for thinking it but at the same time does my child not deserve happiness, a happiness i know i can't provide for her...
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
I'm not a parent, so I have no idea what the right course of action is. I don't presume to give you advice. But I do know that you are a caring mother. You are thinking of her best interests first. The love you have for your child is clear. Please don't feel guilty, no matter what you decide to do.
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