murrnurr

so many new supporters so undeserved. thank you for your support I truly appreciate it.
I did dip out for a while and I must apologize for that however i don't know why but fatty mcfatfat has been in control. mia just came back in my life yesterday. i know right, what the hell happened? i don't know. self-sabotage i think.
i'm not getting on the scale until sunday simply because i'm somewhere in the 73's and i can't handle that right now. tomorrow i'm going to help a friend move so i'm hoping to burn some cals. eat as little as possible to as much work as possible is my plan for saturday.
on wednesday it all pretty much went down hill. i met a friend for coffee. well we ended up not drinking coffee but going to eat. and shop i thought the walking would make it ok. it obviously didn't. however after we ate we decided to go to the next town over but she wanted to change her shoes so we smoked a lil sumtin sumtin before we headed over to the next town at her house and it was freakin awesome being high while out and about. however trust smoking is not going to turn into a habit. can't do it. or let me put it this way i'm not going to purchasing it ever again but i'll take a hit if offered. ugh smoking is kinda like me and mia. love it but hate it. this dependency thing is an issue.
anyway in the evening i had a binge and for some reason i didn't purge. i can't explain it. mia just couldn't convince me or maybe she walked out the door i don't know.
you guys know what song comes to mind when i kneel over the toilet and purge?

i guess it's because that really is what my throat hopes for from my fingers...i dunno.
well i have to go and take mini-me to the doc she has a rash. god i hope it's nothing serious. well here's to traveling half way around the world.
stay strong
MUAH