First figure out what to order, it's not about taste although I order a ridiculous amount it still has to look like i'm ordering for more than one person. I mean yeah fat girl answering the door but it must look like fat girl has somebody in her living room waiting for their share.
Always order online, no need to let them hear my voice it might give away something I don't want to share the fact that a binge is happening and the excitement and horror of the coming binge, also to be avoided the need to pretend there is somebody else in the room.
Hit the delivery button.
Make sure apartment is in order, shoes are neatly lined up, place some extra shoes so it looks like there's somebody else there. Yes it's pathetic but this is what I do. I sometimes even let the shower run so it seems like someone is in the shower. Make sure all my coats are hanging. Yes I try to fake the funk. I could never be a mia that goes into a buffet and just goes at it by herself. I'm very secretive the idea of people knowing the amounts I eat freaks me the fuck out. I'm ashamed of myself.
Oh have you guessed what I did tonight? yeah totally went for it. I mean hardcore.
I wanted to share my patheticness with you guys. shameful how i have no more shame when it comes to sharing how sad of a person i really am. as much as i offer my cyber-shoulder trust me you never want to cry on my real shoulder 1 it's fat and disgusting and 2 my patheticness (which is not really a word well wasn't until now) might rub off on you. Ha Ha
no but seriously this is a order-food-binge day for me. it's my ritual sad i know.
so yeah delivery guy comes and then after he gives me the food it takes him forever to get the damn card reader to work, he was new but all i was thinking was hurry up dammit i need to gorge myself, and man you're making my water bill more expensive here buddy. so then once he's done i give him 2 euros for his silence (didn't say it of course). then i wait by the door until he goes down the stairs which once again takes him forever. then i turn the water off in the shower and the rest is history and doesn't really need to be shared
be stronger than me, mia got to me today
MUAH
For me if the foods not already bought theres no binge for
ReplyDeleteyeah I just give the delivery man a big tip and they get real happy..
ReplyDeleteI heart you for your honesty. It takes a lot to up front about it. I usually cower in fear and admit it later. *sigh* I'm working on it though.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I loved your post about being judgmental. Again- I'm working on it.
And point number 3 - made up words are the best kinds of words.
you shouldn't feel shame sharing with us what we go through too in the first place. I think you just need to look past episodes like this, remember to pick yourself up and what you're going for.
ReplyDelete